A professional matchmaker has shared her top tips for bagging your dream partner – and warned that texting too much before a first date is a big no-no.
Finding ‘the one’ can feel impossible. Whether you’re signed up to endless dating apps or you’re trying to meet someone ‘organically’, it can feel like an uphill battle.
But Cath Gosden, a professional matchmaker, says there are ways to make it easier.
The 53-year-old set up Genuine Connections two years ago after 17 years of being single made her sick of dating apps.
We spoke with Cath to find out her top three tips on how to bag ‘the one’ – plus what you can expect from her matchmaking service.
1. Stop texting beforehand
We can all misread a text, and people say things they normally wouldn’t over text.
Cath says you should never send too many messages before meeting, as they can be easily misread – and kill off any romance before it’s started.
“I spent a lot of time dating and things often go south when telephone numbers are exchanged,” the former payroll manager, from Felbridge, Surrey says.
“I had never met the person but I had almost married them in my head, then you go and meet them and they are not what you thought. They weren’t pretending to be something different, I had just over-romanticised it in my head so when I got there, I was disappointed.”
“Things often go south when telephone numbers are exchanged” – Cath Gosden
“I take all of that away,” Cath says, who meets all the singles she matches herself and gives them questionnaires and a personality test before writing them a profile from this information.
Once these are ready, she looks for similar values, lifestyle, and interests, or simply people she feels would get on well, and shows them profiles that could be a match.
2. Forget your ‘type’
Cath says the majority of her clients look for someone who is emotionally intelligent, kind, honest, ambitious, and active.
Key turn-offs include smoking, laziness, a lack of ambition, having no hobbies, and dishonesty.
There are also some quirkier traits that put clients off – including one who refused to date someone who watched documentaries.
But Cath says it is hard to get people to move past looks.
“We have been brainwashed into swiping using the pictures” – Cath Gosden
“Some are very looks driven, and others are open to meeting people based on what they said in their profile,” She said.
“I think we have all become accustomed to basing things on looks because of the online space. We have been brainwashed into swiping using the pictures and not looking at the words,” Cath explains.
“If they have dated for a while people get wrapped up in their ‘type’ but often that hasn’t served them well and that is why they are still single.”
3. Ditch the online apps
Cath set up Genuine Connections after going through her own dating nightmares.
She says after her divorce she had tried everything to find a partner including apps, speed dating, and singles events – but she didn’t have any luck.
So, instead of giving up, she decided to try and help others with the same problem and started her business two years ago for over 40s who are sick of swiping.
“I met my own partner through Genuine Connections so that is sort of its own proof that it works,” Cath says.
“It wasn’t me that was the problem, it was the online apps” – Cath Gosden
The love enthusiast had put an ad out on social media for someone who matched her clients needs, and got a call from a man who fit the description.
However, he didn’t meet the physical requirements for her client, and she couldn’t find anyone to match him with.
So, she matched him with herself.
“I have never done this before and obviously I am not going to do it again, but I said that I would love to meet him.
We met the next day for dinner.
A few months later I moved in with him.
“It wasn’t me that was the problem, it was the online apps and the way they are set up.”
Cath’s matchmaking service
There are three matchmaking packages available at Genuine Connection: six months, 12 months, and platinum.
The latter ensure you only get shown people who have already said yes and would like to date you, Cath says.
Clients can opt for a photo shoot with a professional photographer, a stylist, and a dating coach.
The packages range from £1,897 to £4,397- but you can also enter the database for £24 a month where you get a profile written and a chance to get matched with these clients.
Cath says she matches people mostly on instinct, but also looks at shared values, lifestyles, and interests.
“I absolutely love it. When dates go well that lights me up. I get a sense of satisfaction that I have done what I promised to do and it has worked,” She said:
So far, she claims there have been several successful pairs who are still dating to this day, including her own partner who she met through the service over a year ago and lives with.
